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In A Dilemma?

difficult decision
dilemma
Should you take that path, or not?

Ever been in a dilemma?

You know a situation where you just can’t pick an option? It usually goes like this:

What should I do? Should I pick this path or that path? Study this subject or that subject? Should I marry this person, or not? Should I sell the house, or wait till later? Maybe I should buy that stock? Should I stay or should I go?

One of the most powerless situations is being indecisive, feeling unable to make a decision, not knowing whether it’ll be better to move forward, or go backwards instead.

I’m just out of a big dilemma myself. I used to be super-stuck, but I’m now finding my way back into the light, yay!

And that’s why I’m writing my 3d book, on making decisions! I’m trying to uncover a framework to help me make decisions faster and with confidence.

Yes, I’m not doing this because I’m selfless. Contrary, my motives are 100% selfish. I was buried in indecision for about a month and I just had to find a way out! I wanted to make a decision with confidence (more about this dilemma coming soon.)

There’s nothing better than feeling you’ve made the right choice, whether that is your career path or whether that’s about your love life! Oh, the excitement of the new path in front of you!

So as I’m doing research for this new book, I’d love to ask you – Was there a situation in your past when you couldn’t decide what to do? If yes, why do you think it was that hard? What helped you find the “answer” and your way out of the dilemma?

I’d love to learn a bit about your experience in the BRAND NEW comments section! Check it out below!

Seriously, it’ll mean a lot to me if you leave a comment 😉 Plus, bonus points if you also tell me what you want me to write about in this book. Thanks a million!

 

Photo Credit: Adapted from Elliot Brown’s work here.

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  1. I’m always stuck with dilemmas. They are everywhere. The latest was to move to another apartment or not. Seriously, there are things which you can’t ignore to do. You have so strong inner feeling that you absolutely can’t resist. And hopefully those are coming more and more often,but still there are some iching decisions that are hard to make. Talking about my apartment question, I just grabbed the Book of Changes, 3 coins and allowed the world to give me an advice and then followed it without any doubt. And it was reeeally a relief.

    1. Hi Maria,

      Yes indeed there are some decisions that feel super-easy, while others feel super-hard and agonizing. Thanks for sharing your apartment story!

  2. This sounds really exciting!

    In most areas of my life I’m pretty decisive, but when it comes to really personal decisions that’s where I second guess myself. There have been lots of decisions around my wedding where I’ve worried about making the wrong choice, it felt like I only had one chance to get it right… the pressure of making a wrong decision felt huge. That’s despite it being a small relaxed wedding where we’ve ditched a lot of the traditions and done it our own way.

    The biggest indecision was about what I was going to wear, after a lot of agonising I went down one route and then something happened to make me realise I was really unhappy with my decision. I felt silly for wanting to change my mind. After a few sleepless nights (I can’t believe I didn’t sleep because of a dress!!!) I decided the way to make myself feel better was to explore different options. I knew that I’d either feel better about my original dress or know I wanted something else. By taking away the expectation of where exploring things might lead I found a gorgeous dress. It’s not what I would have tried on if I was looking for ‘the’ dress, but because I was open to options I came across something that was perfect for me. I bought it 4 months ago now and I fall in love with it again every time I try it on. I get married in just over 2 weeks and I’m so excited to wear it all day!!!

    Looking forward to reading the new book, I know so many people who really struggle with indecision on a daily basis so it will be great to share it with them x

    1. Hi Helen!

      Thanks for sharing the dress story! I know we sometimes judge ourselves for “worrying too much,” but when we give ourselves permission NOT to like a situation then everything gets better. You didn’t HAVE to like that dress. It was totally ok not to like it. And that’s what led you to the dress you actually love!

      So excited about your wedding! 😉

  3. hello Maria, I was in a bad relationship which when bad the third day but I stayed in faithfully for 20 years because I thought he could change and love me as much as I love him.I finally left when I saw a little door open and I ran for my life to never return.
    Fear for change and lack of support was a big one. Now 20 years later I took charge of my life and if I take a decision that does not work I can always change it again!
    Maria your book will be a much needed inspiration!
    Love
    Cassandra

    1. Cassandra, thank you so much for sharing your story! Glad you found the courage to leave that unsatisfying relationship. And what gifts did this decision brought to you!

      Congratulations for taking that step, and again, thanks for sharing!

  4. Not too long ago, I was stuck in a bad relationship simply because I was comfortable. For years I didn’t know what to do and it took me moving from Ohio to Texas to cut ties.

    Having your book address how to deal with relationships would be a real difference maker.

    1. Hi Eric, moving on from relationships can be really hard so the fact that you had to move doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m making a note to mention more relationship examples in my book. Thanks for commenting!

  5. I was recently faced with the decision of leaving a job that I thought I loved, but that had started to affect my health. A trusted business advisor put things very simply. He said, “In business there are only good decisions and bad decisions.” He then asked me what kind of decision I was making by staying in a position that was detrimental to my most precious asset – my health.

    Since then I have added that advice to my decision making arsenal – the simple consideration of whether or not something is a good or bad decision. It appears, perhaps, an oversimplification, but for one who sits in indecision quite frequently, I’ve found simplification to be just the decision making help I was looking for.

    1. Hi Nadine, great idea! It seems like simplification forces you to take a step back away from the issue and see what’s really important about this decision. Thanks for commenting!

  6. Sometimes it is helpful to stop and think ‘why am I so afraid to make a mistake?’
    We make ‘mistakes’ everyday, and sometimes those mistakes lead us to great things.
    So, am I being indecisive because of poor self-esteem, I’m worried what other people might think, not prepared for the possible consequences…
    Then try to address that deficit (exercise, save money, pay off debt..etc..)

    ~ good luck with your newest successful book!

    1. Thank you so much for your wishes! And you’re so right – why are we making decisions difficult? So many insights come from asking ourselves this question.