When I was on vacation this summer, reality was pretty awesome. I had absolutely zero worries. Life was good.
But being on vacation is the “good times” of life. What about the bad ones?
I firmly believe that facing reality, rather than faking reality, is our ticket to success – and fast! If you think that facing reality sucks, then you’re like most people doing it wrong, and you’re faking rather than facing it. I used to make the exact same mistake until life taught me the difference between those two, and what a big difference it can make in how fast I get ahead.
I still occasionally fall into this “faking” trap, but I’m much more perceptive now. Let me explain.
We know we have to “face reality”, yet often reality is just too much to bear. We look at the mirror and we don’t like what we see. We look at our to-do list, and freak out. Or, we look at our bank account and get disappointed. Or maybe, we look at our empty bed and feel lonely.
Reality is hard. And there is nothing more satisfying than knowing that you have the power to overturn any situation.
Yet, facing reality is even harder. Sometimes we fear the pain will be so much that we prefer to duck our heads in the sand rather than go out and face our demons. And that’s how we stay in bad relationships, in jobs we don’t love, and in situations that are beneath us.
But maybe facing reality hurts, because we’re doing it all wrong. Maybe facing reality doesn’t have to feel like overwhelm. Maybe it could feel like freedom, or opportunity. Or maybe, that’s the ONLY way to face reality, and doing it in any other way is not actually facing reality, but “faking reality”.
Faking Reality Knocks You Down and Keeps You Stagnant
Say you’re in debt. You look at credit card statement and feel like sh*t. How can you get out of this hole you put yourself into?
Even if you diligently work and live like a monk for another 15 years, you’ll still not be out of debt.
Also, what were you thinking when actually opening the credit card statement? Didn’t you know this would happen? Wouldn’t it have been easier to just not open the statement in the first place?
“Facing reality is so hard”, you’re thinking.
What you don’t know is that in this case, you’re not facing reality. You’re faking it.
How We Mistake Faking Reality For Facing Reality And Why It Matters
You fake reality when you think you’re powerless. Because that’s exactly what you think when you see that mountain of a debt and feel overwhelmed. Defenseless, helpless, vulnerable.
That’s exactly how you feel when your mind slightly questions whether you should be in this relationship, or in this job, in the first place.
But let me ask you, is it true?
Is it 100%, absolutely true that:
- You have no other options other than this job?
- There is no way to repay that debt faster?
- If you leave this relationship, you’ll stay lonely forever?
- You cannot lose those extra pounds no matter what you do?
Again, I didn’t just ask “is it true?”. I asked “Is it 100%, absolutely true?”
So there’s not even 0.0001% chance that:
- Yes, there should be more options other than this job
- Yes, there must be a way to repay that debt faster
- Yes, there must be someone out there who is a better fit for you than the person you’re currently with
- Yes, you can lose those pounds, just like so many people before you have?
Aha. I bet you that there is some chance, no matter how small it seems to you right now.
So by faking reality, feeling overwhelmed, powerless, defenseless, and vulnerable, you’re not acknowledging the fact that hey, you might actually be able to pull this off!
Facing reality says you might be able to pull this off. Faking reality says that you cannot pull this off!
Facing Reality is empowering you. Faking Reality makes you feel small.
So seriously, what keeps you stuck? Because anything that keeps you stuck is a big, fat lie.
- Faking Reality doesn’t acknowledge that you can overcome this, just like you’ve overcome other things in your past.
- It refuses to see that the world has millions more fish than the ones immediately in front of us.
- It denies the fact that you’re able to adapt, you’re creative, and this time, you might do something new that you haven’t done before. If you had done it before, then it wouldn’t be new.
- It rejects your courage, your faith, your skills, your heart, your worth, your brains, your smile, your talents.
- It doesn’t want to let you use your talents to make something for yourself.
Every time I face a challenge in my life, big or small, I always come down to the same conclusion: Facing Reality is absolutely the best way to get ahead in life – and fast.
Instead of wasting my time:
- Feeling sorry for myself
- Pondering how sh*tty this situation is
- Creating negative future scenarios and scaring myself even more
- Not knowing where to start
I acknowledge that, hey, I can pull this off.
- Money issue? I can absorb the loss.
- Body issue? I can join this Walking Challenge and make this happen.[enroll by this friday Aug 7th to get started!]
- Friends issue? There are so many people out there that we could be good friends with.
[Check out the Mental Diet video for more facing reality scripts.]
And by knowing that I can pull this off, I become resourceful:
- Money issue? I can do this or that to earn more.
- Body issue? I can try this diet and that exercise program.
- Friends issue? I can call X, and Y to go out tonight.
And guess what? It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. I take action and things happen!
Now, I know that there are some issues that are really hard. You might have a health situation that doesn’t feel under your control. But I bet there must be something you can do to help your situation.
I’m not saying that the situation will become 100% perfect.
- I’m saying that as soon as you take your power back, and accept responsibility;
- As soon as you decide that you’re the only person who can improve your situation and no-one will rescue you out of it;
- As soon as you acknowledge that you’ve already achieved many things in your life, you’ve already overcome hard situations, and you’ve already done stuff that you had no idea you could pull off because you had not done them before;
That’s when you switch from fake mode to face mode. That’s when you actually face reality and not some fantasy that poses as reality.
And that’s exactly how you get ahead – fast!
We all encounter obstacles. It’s how fast we overcome those obstacles that determines our speed.
But getting ahead is just part of it – you’ll also be 10x happier than when you duck your head in the sand. Because feeling helpless sucks. But feeling you can pull this off? It might even be exciting! And even if it’s not exciting, even if it’s kind of “I hate I have to do this, but it’ll work out” thing, it still feels better than being overwhelmed!
So what is it? Money, love, social? Whatever it is, I KNOW you can pull this off, and saying anything different than that is a BIG, FAT lie. It’s not reality. It’s a lie.
Now put on your shoes, and GO!