When we don’t succeed, and we get limited results, we often look at what we did wrong.
- When you can’t lose weight even though you’re “dieting”, you’re wondering: Bad diet? Ineffective exercises?
- When you’re making less money than you expected, you’re also examining: Was it the product? Was it lack of marketing?
- When people blow you off, you’re also thinking what you said or did wrong. Too direct? Too shy?
The problem with this approach is that we miss the first step. And because we miss that step, we end up trying new things, but still not getting good results:
- You change the diet, but still don’t lose weight.
- You change the product, but still don’t make more money.
- You change how you talk to people, but still you’re being ignored.
We get more and more frustrated. We feel disappointed. What’s going on?
Sometimes we just need to do more trial and error. Often though, it’s deeper than that. Those results are the effect of our very own self-fulfilling prophecy (wikipedia link here).
You first think about what to do, and then you do it.
- You first decide to go on a diet, you then choose the diet, and then actually go on a diet.
- You first decide to create a product, you then make it, and then sell it.
- You first decide to speak to X or Y, you then decide what to say, and then you talk to them.
It all starts in your head. It all starts with how you think. But when we’re examining what went wrong with our limited results, we seldom examine how we think. We dive into the tactics – the diet, the product, the e-mail scripts, and forget the thinking process that resulted in those actions and decisions.
Why you’re the reason behind your own limited results – and yes, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Buut, you didn’t want to create those limited results, how can you do that to yourself?
The answer sounds plausible and surprising at the same time: If you believe you can, then you’ll get good results. If you believe you cannot, you won’t.
I know that it’s difficult to understand exactly how a self-fulfilling prophecy works and that’s why I shot this video. Watch it to learn exactly how the way you think, determines the results you’ll get. And why yes, if you get bad results, it’s because you didn’t believe in them in the first place.
(Similarly, when you get good results – it was because you believed in them!)
And now that you know how a self-fulfilling prophecy works, let’s get deeper. Your beliefs affect your results in two major ways.
1. Quantity of Action
If you believe you can make it happen, then you’ll take a lot of action – because you can’t wait to see your good results!
Because you take a lot of action, you end up with good results! Kudos!
You knew you could make it happen! (confirmation of initial belief)
2. Quality of Action
When you believe you can, you are much more likely to take the right type of action.
We all know of people who strive, and struggle, and try some more, only to achieve pennies. Have you wondered why?
They don’t take the type of action that would yield the best results. They take the hard road. They sometimes even become martyrs. Why? Because they didn’t believe they could in the first place.
Taking the wrong action is an excellent way to sabotage yourself. Then, you’ll have great excuses – after all, you tried. You TRIED! And still didn’t succeed – amazing proof that you were right in the first place. You couldn’t have made it happen. You always knew it. Yup, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy!
And finally, one last thought about “trial and error”. This is necessary for success – but it also has a deadline. If you always find yourself in “trial and error” mode, or in “research” mode, if you can no longer yourself fit in the newbie category but are still “researching”, getting limited or no results, then maybe that’s your own way of sabotaging yourself, and confirming your beliefs that you can’t make it happen!
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do research or try new things. You absolutely SHOULD do it if you want to get ahead. I’m only saying that if it takes too long, then it might be you avoiding actually dealing with the issue, because you don’t believe you can make it happen. Maybe you think it’s too hard and hence, docking the work?
So now you know. If you get limited results, and it’s not because you just need to do more trial and error (a necessary part of every journey), then it’s because you didn’t believe in it in the first place. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- If you can’t lose weight, even though you’re dieting, ask yourself – do you really believe you can do this? Do you believe you deserve it? Do you think this is just another one of your “failed attempts”?
- If your business is not taking off, ask yourself: Do you believe you’re not “qualified enough”? Do you believe you need to struggle more in order to reach success? Do you believe that you can’t succeed and are just waiting when you’ll quit and find a “real” job?
- If you don’t advance at work as fast as you’d like, ask yourself: Do you believe you have to stand up for yourself to succeed, but just the thought of it makes you hate it? Do you believe that only the sleazy people get ahead?
Now, should you find yourself not believing you can succeed – don’t despair! You’re not doomed to failure! I’m not saying all this to make you feel bad about yourself. Instead, I’m pointing this out to help you take your power back.
You can achieve ANYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED. The tricky part is you need to believe it before you get it. But it’s absolutely possible and YOU CAN DO IT!
You have the power to change all your beliefs and create success at the exact area that used to torture you. Stay tuned as in a couple of weeks we’ll discuss exactly what to do to change your beliefs, and create success beyond your greatest dreams! You’ll be living a happy, joyful self-fulfilling prophecy!
In the meantime, watch this episode to learn how to believe in yourself.