The Enemy Mindset: The 3 Overlooked But “Deadly” Thoughts That Stab Your Weight Loss & Keep You With Overweight

Transcript:

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Fitness Reloaded, I am Maria Brilaki, the founder of Fitness Reloaded, the creator of the Calorie Investing Weight Loss method. And in this video, I’m going to give you the three families of thoughts, that make women stop their weight loss.

If you practice any of those thoughts regularly, and if you let those thoughts just drive you into action, okay? So if you don’t turn them around, chances are you will never reach your goal weight, okay?

You will always be struggling. So this is not what I want for you, okay? I want you to overcome them. And you can turn them around, okay? So let’s get started and address them one by one.

The first one is “I can’t right now.”

What does that mean, okay? So, for example, I can’t start losing weight right now, because; I’m too busy with work, I have a lot of things to do, it’s just not the right time. Or I can’t right now plan what I’m going to eat tomorrow because my husband is calling me and I need to go attend to him or my kids are doing X and Y or because I need to do all those other things and I can’t focus on my meal planning for tomorrow right now, okay? So this “I can’t right now”, the excuse you give yourself in the moment about why you can’t, guess what? If you tell yourself you can’t, you will not actually do it and if you don’t do it, you will not get the results that you want to have.

Okay? And the thing is that most of those things are really at the end of the day, just excuses, meaning it’s not really true that you couldn’t, okay? So just because you have visitors, doesn’t mean you can’t plan some things about, let’s say what to eat, okay? You can, you just choose not to, okay? There’s no question. Yes, you’re busier than maybe other weeks, but still, you’re not so busy that you can take action.

Okay? So this is something to really pay attention to, because if you tell yourself you can’t, okay? You can’t start this. You can’t do this thing that you know that you should be doing. You will just not, you will not do it. And then if you don’t take action, you will get no results.

The second way women stop their weight loss is by telling themselves it doesn’t matter.

So if you tell yourself it doesn’t matter, if you don’t, let’s say, plan your meals for the next day so, okay?

You’re usually goes sometimes it combines with the first family of thoughts. So you tell yourself, oh, you’re too busy, so you’re not going to do it. But it doesn’t matter anyway because okay, so what if you don’t plan your meals one day, nothing bad is going to happen, okay? And while that is true, meaning the effect of, you not doing something just once is small, the thing is those types of things compile and sometimes the “it doesn’t matter,” even stops you from starting.

For example, why should I take this five-minute walk?

Let’s say you try to build the habit of exercise. Why should I take this five-minute walk? It will not make me slim, right? Whether I walk today or don’t walk today, makes almost zero difference. So why should I take this action? It doesn’t matter. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You don’t take the action, you don’t actually get started with exercise, okay? This will not be a part of your life, because you just talked yourself out of it.

Okay? But most of the time I see women tell themselves it doesn’t matter, so they do things that stop their weight loss and the excuse they give themselves is it doesn’t matter and this can, it can be something like “I wasn’t going to lose weight anyway,” right? I will just not lose weight.

So “it doesn’t matter if I do this” or excuses that just don’t make sense like I did, “I ate this bad meal yesterday, so it doesn’t matter if I also eat this bad meal today,” which is completely irrational. But this is what many women say. Point is, when you say it doesn’t matter, this is codeword that this actually does matter. Because if it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be telling that to yourself.

You wouldn’t be having this conversation with yourself. You wouldn’t be debating it, okay? You’re thinking about it because it actually matters, okay? And this is an insidious way, an incognito way for your brain to talk you out of doing the things that matter, irrespective of whether those things are small or big, those things do matter and they make a difference. And you tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You weren’t going to lose weight anyway. It doesn’t matter.

Don’t do it, okay? Now let’s move on to the third family of thoughts.

The third family of thoughts is taking a negative action and then blowing this negative action or the setback that you encounter out of proportion to make it mean something negative about you or about the outcome that you want.

So let’s say you did have a bad meal yesterday and now you make that mean that you will never lose weight you will never actually get to your goal weight just because you had that bad meal yesterday. Okay, now maybe you’re making an even better argument. You had this bad meal yesterday, but you’ve also had all these other bad meals in the past, not to mention how many other times, you’ve tried to lose weight in the past, but you didn’t get the results you wanted.

You see how that goes. You start from one little thing, one little thing, and then you start building it up, okay? You blow it out of proportion, you make it important. Then you start providing even more supporting evidence to make the claim that you will never get to your goal. It just takes momentum, okay? And if you make the claim that you will never get to your goal, then why should you even try to do the things that do matter?

There’s no point, because you will never get to your goal. That’s the argument your brain makes.

So it’s very important that you recognize when this happens, okay? So when you do have a bad meal and your brain starts making the case that, oh, you know, it’s all terrible, we actually have specific strategies in the Academy to put this one bad meal plan perspective, okay? We actually have strategies for all those families of thoughts so that you turn them around, because what most people do not realize, is how you think is also a habit.

Okay, so these are mental habits, meaning let’s say a bad meal happens, you make that mean, meaning that’s the behavior, that you will never lose weight, okay? So bad meals is your trigger, the habit is “I’m thinking I will never lose weight,” okay? Not true. And just like you can change any habit, you can change how you eat, you can change how you exercise, you can change what time you go to bed, what time you wake up.

You can change all these habits in your life. You can also change how you think, because this is also a habit.

So it’s not set in stone. It’s not your personality. You were not born like this. These are things you can actually work on and you can learn to employ habits that actually support you and are also more accurate because all the habits that I just talked about, are actually based in logical fallacies.

So they present themselves as truth. But in reality, they’re not truth; they’re just logical fallacies that pose as truth, okay? That might feel true just on the basis of how many times you practice these types of thoughts, okay? And the result is that, you end up losing weight because you have those types of thoughts, because check this out, you have absolutely no reason to not lose weight when you follow Fitness Reloaded meaning, here is a method that will show you how to eat, so you’re never hungry, okay?

So what do we eat? So you’re not hungry and so you’re content, you will change your eating pattern and this change will happen in a way that doesn’t feel negative to you. You will not suffer through it, because then habits are not being built. We want it to become your new second nature, okay? So all throughout the process it will feel like you’re taking the next logical step, okay? It’s going to feel ok.

Okay, you’re not going to feel deprived or restricted or like you’re pressuring yourself, okay? And I could tell you exactly what to do. We would start actually building out your habits in your Habit Diary so that you go ahead and do that. But then if you start thinking, I can’t do it right now because I’m busy, because I have work, because my kids, because my husband, because I have visitors, because I don’t know. I need to really watch the news right now.

You tell yourself, it doesn’t matter if I don’t do this habit, I might do it next week.

Okay, so what? It’s just one habit, okay? If you downplay the importance of taking the individual habits. Not that, you know, not doing it once is that important – it’s not, okay? So I’m not advocating in favor of beating yourself up, if you don’t do it, the habit, okay? Not at all, that’s counterproductive. But if you have a habit of talking yourself out of the behaviors, telling yourself they don’t matter, then that’s an issue.

If these are the types of things you’re thinking about, you will simply not get to your goal. It doesn’t matter that you have the best method you could possibly have, okay? It doesn’t matter because your brain is going to interfere and it will tell you you can’t, it will tell you it doesn’t matter. And then it will go ahead and use any setback as evidence that you indeed will never get to your goal. So why try, okay?

So I want to encourage you to, first of all, realize that these things that are not set in stone. You can change them. We’ll teach you all about that in the Habits Academy. If you haven’t yet joined, you should go join us. Come join us. Give yourself, your best shot to learn how to change from within.

Okay? This is a method that will help you change from within and for the long term, okay? So that all the gains you make when it comes to weight loss are gains you get to keep, are gains that you get to build and weave into your life. You will be building your new lifestyle with us. A lifestyle that’s so weightproof that it repels weight regain so that you can go out and eat and not be like some other women, you know, who would like to drink half a coffee, and then they really try to eat just a little bit of food because they’re afraid that they will immediately gain weight.

You will not be one of them. You will be able to eat more and we’ll discuss how that happens in the Academy. Because your Caloric Net Worth, which again, we’ll discuss in the Academy, will be higher. But anyway, there’s so much to talk about. Come join us. And thank you so much for taking the course.

Goodbye.