Episode 96 – How to be happy in the moment, even when you don’t have what you want.

how to be happy in the moment even when you don't yet have what you want.
Don’t have what you want? Pushing and trying harder? Hmm…

One of my favorite subjects in Exercise Bliss is how to be happy even when you feel like the most unfit person in the whole world, or even though you are not progressing as fast you’d like.

What I like to remind Blissers is that anything we strive for in life, money, health, love, family…we ultimately want it because we think that in the having of it we’ll be happier. We’ll be happier if we have more money, find the love of our lives, graduate, lose weight, etc.

Yet, even though what we are really after is happiness, we think it’s ok to feel bad now. It’s somehow logical to feel miserable now, for the sake of feeling happier later…

I call this the happiness paradox. We act as if feeling happy now AND feeling happy later is impossible.

But that is not true. Here is the special video taken directly from Exercise Bliss that explains how to be happy in the moment, even when you don’t yet have what you want.

You can feel happy now, even if you don’t yet have what you want. It’s a subtle mindset shift that changes everything.

You can enjoy both the journey and the destination. You just need to focus a little less on what you don’t have, and a little more on what you already have.

You see, it’s very different, e.g., striving to lose another 10 pounds, vs. feeling so good that you have already lost 2 pounds that you are thinking “I’d like to do more of that!”.

It’s very different second-guessing yourself every step of the way because the goal seems so big, than enjoying what you have and thinking how you can have a little more. I have extensively talked about how to believe in yourself even if you have no proof you should do so here.

So here is the experiment I am doing. I try to feel good, even though I haven’t yet achieved my goal. For instance, as I was putting the finishing touches on Exercise Bliss a few weeks ago, I tried to feel centered and not let myself worry (click here for a beat worry process).

I limit my experimenting time to just 1 hour at a time. This way I am more focused and catch myself more easily if I slip towards the self-doubt or overwhelment path.

So what do you think? Will you join me? Will you do this happiness experiment if only for an hour?

How to be happy in the moment with a powerful 1-hour happiness experiment.

If you have been following me for a while you might already know I love mindfulness experiments. Well, I have been practicing this happiness experiment for a little over a month, and the shifts are significant.

You see, “I am not allowed” to work on my goals if I don’t feel good about what I do. That’s against the rules of the experiment!

I “have to” feel happy in the moment even when I haven’t yet reached my goal!

This is so immensely counterintuitive compared to what we are used to doing: pushing, and then pushing a little more.

We miss the big picture. We forget that everything we go for in life we do it because we think that we’ll be happier when we get “there”.

And more importantly, we are lured to the immediate rewards that pushing brings, only to often sacrifice long-terms rewards that consistent but smaller action brings.

And that’s how, e.g., people exercise for a few months, only to quit later. They pushed. But they could not keep pushing forever. They need to embrace a different strategy to make this lifestyle change a reality.

But I have said enough. You now know quite a bit about how to be happy in the moment. And you don’t have to attempt an 180 degree turn today. You can start with 1 hour.

My question to you is…Are you going to try this happiness experiment? Are you going to try to be happy in the moment, even when you don’t yet have what you want? Will you give it 1 hour to practice happiness?

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